![]() ![]() ![]() When you notice stress, watch how you cope with it, and then replace any unhealthy coping habits with healthier ones. Instead, we need healthy ways to cope with stress, which will come inevitably. Many times, when we are faced with stress, we have unhealthy responses - anger, feeling overwhelmed and withdrawing, eating junk food, drinking alcohol or taking drugs, shopping or otherwise buying stuff, going to time-wasting sites, procrastinating, and so on. This unbending habit can change your life. Sure, lots of people talk about gratitude … but how often do we apply it to the events of our day? Things are crashing down at work, or our boss is angry, or our co-workers are rude, or our kids are misbehaving, or someone doesn’t love us as we’d like … do these cause anger/anxiety/unhappiness, or can we be grateful? Drop the complaints, and find a way to be grateful, no matter what. You can learn not to interpret events as a personal affront, and instead see it as some non-personal external event (like a leaf falling, a bird flying by) that you can either respond to without a stressful mindset, or not need to respond to at all. But the truth is, it’s not personal - it’s the other person’s issue that they’re dealing with. Our kids don’t clean their rooms? They are defying us! Our spouse doesn’t show affection today? He/she must not care as much as he/she should! Someone acts rudely at work? How could they treat us this way?! Some people even think the universe is personally against them. ![]() If someone does something we don’t like, often we tend to interpret this as a personal affront. Many times the response (that you noticed in Habit 2) is to take things personally. Why can’t other people behave better? Watch this response - it’s an important habit. Still others start to feel sorry for themselves, and wish things were different. When something stressful happens, what is your response? Some people jump into action - though if the stressful situation is another person, sometimes action can be harmful. You don’t need to do the same things, but find the quiet of the morning and make the most of it. Exercise is another component of my morning routine. I then start writing, before I let the noise in. these days, though that changes), and start with a little meditation, then a few yoga poses. ![]() Many people rush through their mornings, starting the day out in a stressful rush. These are the habits to develop that will help you develop calmness (based on my experience): You can respond to the same event with anxiety or anger, or you can respond with peace and calmness. The only thing you can control is your response - and this response matters. Changing your environment is great, but you can’t control the things that happen to you much of the time, and you certainly can’t control how other people act. These are habits, not a one-time change in my surroundings or work pattern. I’m not perfect at them, but I do practice them, and they are always helpful. It’s a series of habits that have developed over the last few years. I have to admit that I’m the same way some of the time, but I have learned a few things that have helped me create a feeling of calmness much more of the time than ever before. Most people just don’t feel a sense of peace, of calm, of serenity, throughout their day. I have come to believe that high stress, constant anxiety over tasks and work and life, social anxiety … is all a part of the modern way of life. ![]()
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